A short one...

I decided to take this opportunity to say something relatively positive about my life right now. The end of my night yesterday turned out to be worth it. I ended up accompanying the Mayor´s secretary to the office of the engineering company that will be working on the new water system in my community. After spending a little too much time talking to one of the more self agrandizing people I´ve met in Peru (the engineer) he offered me a complete diagnostic of the community I am living in. Score!!!! I returned to my house, popped a benadryl so that the 200 plus mosquitoe bites would not wake me in the middle of the night, said a little prayer and passed out. Woke up this morning and took it upon myself to crash a teachers meeting at the school and meet everyone and then the Chief of Police took it upon himself to make me his new friend. Things are looking up...

I think I can comfortably say...

..that I am currently living in my own personal version of hell. I just don´t get it. Whoever said that I am living in a clean culture was full of it. Granted some families are very clean there are a vast majority who in my opinion just don´t give a shit. For example, there are waterbugs in New York but there are none in my house. Wanna know why? Because I am fucking clean and do not leave open tanks of water everywhere. That´s why!!!!! I am currently living in my new site and can also say that I am miserable. I just want to hide in a corner and cry but there´s no hiding in this country because I´m the tallest, whitest thing for MILES. I can´t even write this blog anymore because I seriously might have a nervous breakdown. There is no water. I am dirty. It is about 100 degrees here. I am black with dirt and cannot wash any part of my body. I am going to go now before I really lose it. Oh yea...Merry Christmas by the way.

Completely unrelated to the Peace Corps...

I have feelings that exist outside of my experience in the Peace Corps...I think. I have already talked about sacrifising peices of my identity to assimilate to this culture. I am currently on cultural strike. I will not eat a ton of rice, I will not sacrifice my almost 27 year old body because you do not understand the meaning of POCO!!! I don´t know what´s going on right now in my life. I might not be staying at my current site for much longer and I am really conflicted about the whole situation. The reason they are contemplating moving me are very good but I can´t help but feel guilty about the situation. I don´t know, unfortunately, I really don´t have much to say. I miss my mom, my dad, my nephews and neice, my family in Lima, my friends in the states, my friends in the Peace Corps, my friends in the World...etc. Leaving Lima was really difficult and I look forward to returning.