Relating to a pregnant dog

Why you ask? As I sat in my town plaza yesterday I ran into my dog, Estrella, who was recently knocked up. She was surrounded by 6 male dogs, one of which was fighting off the rest of them. It appeared as though he was protecting her as every time another male dog came close to her he began to lick her crotch. Suddenly, I felt sad. My dog looked sad, tired as if she just wanted to scream, ¨LEAVE ME ALONE¨. I thought to myself at least she has someone protecting her but she seemed worn out by him as well. All these dogs were swarming around her barking and growling, I looked at her and she looked at me and we felt each other´s pain. It doesn´t matter what I do in this country good or bad, people will continue to talk about me. I can cure cancer and I´ll still be whatever it is they think I am. I am not going to lie, I have fought it off for a while but recently it has started to effect me. I´m getting over it though. I´ve never felt so sorry for Britney Spears...

Sisters

I have a sister...she´s older and we´re not that close for various reasons. I have a brother also and we are close, although, we were only raised together for 6 short years. I am the youngest. So I have pretty much been alone all of my life. Recently, I have been spending a lot of time with my host family. I have three younger sisters and a little brother. My sisters call me Manita (sister) and say that I am their older sister. It makes me feel good and it makes me nervous. I am a role model for three young girls. I´ve never been a role model but I think I make a damn good one. Recently I took them to the Hermanos Yaipen concert (a Peruvian cumbia band) and we had a blast. I will spoil them till the day I have to leave Peru and that day their will exist an emptiness in my life that never would have existed otherwise. This makes me sad, but I will deal with that when the time comes.

Things have been so clear to me lately. Am I growing up, finally? Or is the hard knock life setting me straight. Whatever it is, I like it. Recently, I´ve been thinking about how Americans, as a culture have to analyze everything so much. When is it too soon, when is it too late? We second guess oursleves too much. The latine culture is the complete opposite. They just say how they feel all the time, even if it´s too soon, even if it´s harsh. I don´t agree with either culture completely but we have to be capable of finding a middle ground, right?

Looking up...

I presented my community diagnostic to my mayor, boss and some other folk today. I was ridiculously nervous and didn´t get any sleep last night. That being said....it went GREAT!!! Better than I could have ever hoped or imagined. My mayor agreed to support me on building a micro-landfill for the community which may not mean anything to those of you that are reading this but is a HUGE success for me. I am happy as a pig in shit. What this means is that I am doing my job and hopefully will see some results when my two years are up! I am happy...

Contemplating...

I have been doing a lot of that lately. Just sitting around, thinking. About Peru, about politics, about humanity, love. Ugh...things are so difficult when you have a brain. Don´t get it twisted...I am sooooo happy right now. Really. I´m 27 and things are changing rapidly. I had coffee with a girlfriend this week while I was in Lima and it reminded me of my reality. It reminded me that no matter how much I try keeping true to my identity in my site, I am not who I am while I am there. I´ve done a good job of assimilating but maybe too good of a job. So good that I have forgotten who I am. I am the kind of person that likes eating fancy dinners and spending too much money on shoes. Does that also mean that I can´t be a good volunteer? I love my work, I love the people I live with and I truly do love living this life. I do not regret for one minute leaving behind all of my luxuries but am I missing something?

Sorry it´s been so long...

Well, it has been ages since I updated my blog. My apologies to my five friends and mom who actually read this thing. J Where do I start? I can’t really remember how I left off so I will start where I know best. My grandmother passed away on May 17th. I received a phone call early that week from my mother who informed me that my grandmother was found in her nursing home room unconscious. She was rushed to emergency and put on life support. She was in a coma. We waited a couple of days to make the decision when the doctors told us she was not coming back. I arrived in New York on May 16 and the following day I accompanied my mother, her brother and sister and my grandfather to the hospital to say goodbye to my grandmother. It was her choice not to be on life support. We respected her wishes. It was hard but it was harder seeing her in pain the past few years. She’s in peace now. I was only in New York for a week and then I returned to Peru. For the record I will be back for Christmas! My mom and I actually had planned her trip to visit me the following week so she accompanied me back to Peru as planned. My mom was here for 18 days, during that time she had the chance to visit where I live and we also went to Cusco, walked the Inca Trail and saw Machu Picchu. The four day hike on the Inca Trail was a great experience but I can say with almost complete certainty that I will not do it again. It was hard! Let’s just saying climbing a mountain at 14,000 feet isn’t exactly a stroll through the park. None the less, the experience was great. Things are good over her in Peru. Life is pretty normal although slower than I am used to but I think it’s time for a change. Work is also moving along, slowly but things are finally starting to happen. I am happy. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t miss my family and friends but it has become easier over the past 9 months. I know, it’s been 9 months, crazy!!!!! I will admit, leaving New York while I was there for that brief visit was surprisingly easy. Perhaps I have become accustomed to my simple life in Peru. On the other hand, my mom leaving Peru left me crying for several days and with a huge hole in my life that I have yet to occupy. It’s alright because she plans to visit again soon. So, in short, things are good. I don’t know what more to say. I am in the middle of starting some micro-landfills at the Elementary school so when I get that started I will keep you posted with pictures and news. Until then….it’s been real J

My real life

In what I like to refer to as my real life I would never eat ice cream at 10 AM. I also would never eat a large, wonderfully seasoned pork steak with potatoes and hot sauce at 10 AM but I have done each of these things. I have abandoned all of the social norms I hold near and dear to my heart since I have been in this country and it feels good. It´s like eating desert before dinner, it is so bad but sooooo good.

On another note, I thought I would share all of the interesting things that have been going on in my life lately. Well, just as I thought I had experienced every type of cat call humanly possible I was cat called by a man peeing on a wall in broad daylight. I know, you are probably thinking how offended I must be but really it was one of the funnier things I´ve seen lately. What a loser! My second encounter was less friendly and less funny. As I was walking to the Polleria (chicken spot) a regular Sunday ritual for me, I crossed by some friendly neighborhood assholes who of course began with their cat calls. Much to my surprise, just as I turned the corner, almost out of their site one of them screamed- PERRA! Yes, a perra is a female dog but not in the way us North Americans politely refer to women as bitches but rather a very harsh insult which I am still not totally sure of the definition. As I returned home I asked my roomate what the word meant, she looked at me and asked why. When I told her someone had called me it she was appauled. I was insulted and didn´t even know it. Oh well. Ok, lastly, I pretty much thought that after the young man who politely pissed and whistled at me nothing could really compare, oh boy was I wrong. Monday afternoon I entered the English class that I teach three times a week with the exam in my hand. One of my students is the son of a host cousin. I am in love with this little boy, he is adorrible and his story is really sad. He lives in a place with no water, no electricity and no mommy. His mom abandoned him and he is living with his father who is a really nice guy. So I sit down next to my favorite little student and realize that he does not brush his teeth. When I ask him if he does, he readily admits that he doesn´t and instead chews coca every day because according to his father that is better for dental hygiene. I told him that I wanted him to tell his dad to buy him a toothbrush and toothpaste and he agreed. After this short conversation he whispered in my ear that he had to tell me something. He told me that his father sends his regards and he wants to know if he can take me out with his son sometime and if I could please forward my phone number with his son that would be great. WHAT????? You just had your six year old son ask me on a date? So cute, so hysterical, absolutely did not give out the number ;) Such is life here. I´m a celebrity and I never knew it.

Other than that, things are coming along rather well, finishing up my community diagnostic and getting ready to present at the meeting in two weeks.

P.S. Going to harvest the corn this afternoon with my family....just another day!

Sunday Morning...

This morning I am walking around like it is Sunday Morning and rightfully so, it is Sunday. I know half of the shit I write on here the average person would not understand but this blog was never meant for that person to understand, it was meant for my friends and family to understand. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ok...that was ridiculous and pointless. This week was long and is still not over. I was in Pisco, a city an hour and a half away from where I live for three days doing some work. I came back relaxed for a day and then came back into my capital city to have our departmental meeting. Which in fact, always proves to be interesting because it´s the time of month that I get to reunite with 14 of my favorite Peace Corps Volunteers. I hope you can understand where I am going with this...I am currently feeling like poop. Last night was Saturday...today is Sunday. Ok, now that we have gotten that over with. I am good, still in Peru. I never really have anything interesting to say on this blog. This week I am planning on finishing up the diagnostic I have been doing about my community. Then I want to set up some meetings to talk to people about starting a trash program. Yup....I live in Peru :)